A Collection of Oddities
by ShadowQuill262
Summary: When a Tiefling cleric and a hulking human assassin go on an adventure, you would think that things would be easy for such a dynamic duo. Yet these two are in for a wild ride as they discover other oddballs and slowly build a reputation as the strangest group of friends to ever walk the world stage.
1. Prologue - Strange Customers

The Slurred Spino had seen many new and strange faces over the years, although it was safe to say that Lilly's was not among the strangest to ever grace the halls of the fishing village pub. Hired on as one of the new waitstaff, the young woman was more than ready to take on the day and serve the customers to the best of her ability. Her long blonde curls fell to her shoulders and her bright green eyes lit up the room as she bounced from table to table with a beaming smile gracing her lips. Yet there was something in the air as she came out of the kitchen with a couple's order, although she didn't understand why the room had suddenly gone quiet until she spotted the large party that had seemingly appeared out of thin air at the large center table.

Taking a moment to drop off the plates of food and to thank the older couple for their patronage, Lilly paused before walking into the center of the room, her steps growing shorter and shorter as she realized just how unique the new customers really were. Her eyes wandered from one odd being to the next, her grip on the serving tray growing tight as she stepped up to the table and flashed a nervous grin. At first the customers didn't seem to notice her, such as they were busy talking amongst themselves, so Lilly took a moment to inspect the assorted creatures more closely.

The person sitting to Lilly's immediate left was an elf, a high elf if her limited knowledge of other races was correct, although she didn't look anything like the noble and proud race Lilly expected to see. Instead of fine robes and a noble mannerism, this elf was dressed in grease-stained cloth that might have once been a pair of working pants and shirt and was nearly falling back in her chair because of the large metal contraption she was tinkering with in her lap. The large sphere was almost as big as Lilly's head, and was filled with complex mechanisms that were far beyond anything she had seen before. Tools moved at near blinding speeds as the elf's ocean green eyes flickered back and forth, every once and a while shifting her head back as small puffs of smoke would escape from the device. At first Lilly was slightly afraid the sphere would explode, although the smoke puffs were short-lived enough that Lilly's initial fear of an imminent detonation were soothed to a slight twinge of nerves.

The elf's clothing wasn't the only thing that was different from what Lilly expected, although it certainly was the first thing she noticed. Her brown hair was singed in multiple places and seemed to have been partly styled by way of explosive methods, although how she had survived the process Lilly had no idea. Yet out of all the beings sitting at the table, the elf was by far the least out of place when it came to compare to the others in her party.

Glancing to her right, Lilly immediately took several steps back as she beheld one of the most frightening things she had ever seen. Seated across from the elf was a short man, or at least what she thought was a man. His hunched back and leathery skin made him almost look like an undead of some sort, although his sunken eyes were alit with intellect and gleamed with something almost animalistic as his hand scratched at the cloth over his left shoulder. His mouth moved in rapid movements as he whispered archaic nonsense under his breath while twitching back and forth like he was diseased. Lilly had the distinct feeling this man was best avoided at all costs, and carefully stepped around the table until the elf was between her and him.

Making sure that the serving tray was shielding her body as much as possible from the seemingly mad individual, Lilly turned her attention to the next member of the party, and immediately sucked in a breath of shock. Dressed in tight combat clothing that showed off raw muscle and gleaming silver scales, Lilly was almost unable to believe that a real, live dragonborn was sitting at the table before her, although the hulking being seemed to be more attuned to the mood of the pub than the other members of her group, going so far as to offer Lilly a small smile and a nod as she caught the nervous girl's eye with her own ice blue orbs. Immediately, Lilly's heart rate dropped just a little bit, although it wasn't long to last as she turned her gaze to the next being of the party.

While it was impossible to miss the nun's robes that adorned the creature seated near the far side of the table, it was also impossible to miss the red skin and the small horns that poked out from beneath the cowl of said robes. Bright purple eyes caught Lilly's own and the serving girl felt her breathing halt as the Tiefling flashed her a smile, a small gloved hand waving hello before the diminutive being turned her attention elsewhere. Lilly wondered for a moment if the seemingly friendly demon-spawn was just playing tricks on her, but as she watched the smaller woman talk and smile with the others before her, Lilly got the feeling that this one might actually be friendly just for the sake of it, hard as it was to believe.

Glancing over at the person seated to the Tiefling's right, Lilly nearly jumped as she finally caught notice of the truly massive man that was sitting next to the comparatively tiny half-demon, her head tilting up to look into his eyes even though he was sitting down. The massive hulk had to be at least seven feet tall in order to make her gaze tilt so much, and yet somehow, she had completely missed him until she had looked right at him. As she took in the man's bulky figure, Lilly noticed that something didn't seem to add up. It wasn't until he put down his drink that she realized that every movement the man made was completely silent, even though the huge dwarven tankard he used had to be nearly as heavy as a fully-loaded serving tray. Feeling more and more unnerved by the customers seated before her, Lilly turned her eyes to the next member of the group, and immediately tilted her head in confusion.

Dressed in what had to be the most concealing clothing Lilly had ever seen, was another short woman that seemed almost childlike next to the hulk of a man sitting next to her. Lilly couldn't even see her face clearly under the oversized hood the woman had pulled up and over her head, although her gaze was drawn to the woman's hand as she reached for her drink. Gold scales and gleaming white claws caught the candlelight from the overhead chandelier as the small being brought the cup to her lips, her white-gold muzzle poking just free of the cowl's shadow before disappearing again as she set the glass down once more. Lilly's gaze was drawn to the more casually dressed dragonborn seated across the table before moving back to the absolutely tiny woman before her, and immediately realized that there were two of the legendary creatures in the room with her, although she had to wonder if the smaller of the duo was a runt or some such. Yet just as she was about to turn her attention away, Lilly caught the smile and heard the soft giggle that escaped from the hood, her eyes catching a glance of the woman's gleaming violet irises before she turned her attention towards the Tiefling seated across from her.

Feeling like she had just been part of an inside joke, Lilly turned to the second to last member of the party, her head tilting down for the first time as she beheld a young girl, perhaps only nine or tens years of age. Yet even this child was far from ordinary, her jet-black hair and pale blue skin standing out in the dim lighting of the tavern as she fiddled with the hem of her pelt clothing. Upon closer inspection, Lilly noticed that the pelt belonged to that of a bear, and that the other items the child possessed seemed to also be from a bear in one fashion or another. Her daggers, which she was using to stab at the complimentary bread loaf like it was a rabbit, were carved from what seemed to be a bear's jaw. There was also a bear tooth hanging from her neck on a piece of twine, partly covered by the well-used cloth that covered her body where the hide did not. Her pure white eyes seemed to hold a wild, animalistic nature to them that made a shiver run down Lilly's spine, even though the girl was only half her size.

Finally, Lilly shifted her attention to the last being seated at the table, her eyes widening once again as the bright purple feathers and shining orange gaze nearly dazzled her upon first glance. It took her a moment to simply accept that the being before her was real, but none the less, there was a bird-person, known to most as an Aarakocra, sitting at the table and dressed in some of the most outlandish garb Lilly had ever seen. While the bright purple feathers and orange eyes were enough to catch the eye, the being's flamboyant clothing and assorted instruments made it abundantly clear that the Aarakocra was a bard of some sort, yet just like the massive hulk from before, he made no sound as he moved about, even going so far as to use his taloned hands to make odd gestures to his companions as they conversed. It took Lilly a moment to realize it, but she suddenly understood that the bard was completely mute, using his hands to speak to the others instead of words.

Feeling rather unnerved by the strange group, and barely having the courage to keep from running as she turned away, Lilly was just about to go hide in the kitchen when she was stopped by the intimidating figure of Mary-Anne. The slightly portly woman was several decades Lilly's senior and had the temper of a dragon when angered, although none of that was present as the shorter woman walked right up to the table and asked for their orders like there was absolutely nothing out of the ordinary.

Lilly could barely keep her jaw from hanging as the group of strangers ordered their food from memory, never once glancing at the menu or even bothering to check if there was anything they might want instead of their usual fare. Mary-Anne took it all in stride and walked back to the kitchen window, shouting out to the cook before returning to the tableside. Lilly simply stood there for several seconds before rushing back to the kitchen as the orders started coming out, Mary-Anne helping her to carry it all over to the center table as the new customers dug in.

Lilly managed to carry over the food without tripping on her feet, although she paused as she noticed the giant taking a chicken leg from his plate and sticking it into a burlap sack that had been resting on the floor next to his stool. For a moment Lilly was confused, although that quickly changed when she saw the bag start to shake and rustle, soft hisses and growls escaping the opening before the giant gave it a swift kick. There was a sharp yelp followed by muffled grumbling as the movements of the sack slowed to a halt, although Lilly made a mental note to stay on the far side of the table from the mystery sack from that moment on.

Taking a break from their work as they finished bussing the food to the large group, Lilly pulled Mary aside as they were coming out of the kitchen, glancing over at the strangers for a second before asking, "Who are those people, Mary-Anne? I've never seen such strange beings in all my life."

Mary-Anne turned towards the group for a moment before glancing back at Lilly with a small smile, "You're new here, so you wouldn't know about those fine folks yet, but they pop in every once and a while in between their adventures, tell this old woman about their travels and then go on their merry way once again." She busied herself with cleaning a tankard with a cloth as she looked towards the group, a fond light in her gaze as she remembered things from days past. "Let me tell you a story, young one, and maybe that will help you to understand why that particular group is always welcome in the Slurred Spino."


	2. Chapter 1 - Trashing the Tavern

The little village of Stoneworth was just getting settled in for the night when a lone figure entered through the town gates. Her robes billowed in the soft breeze, highlighting her inhuman features as the nearest villagers took notice of the stranger in their midst. Yet as the villagers drew closer to the small figure there were exclamations of recognition, smiles replacing the suspicious scowls on everyone's faces as the woman pulled back her cowl. The setting sun reflected off of her red skin and cast a shadow between a set of horns that curved up and over her head.

"Sister Lilith," the town mayor exclaimed as he embraced the small Tiefling in a hug, "oh it has been far too long since you last came to our village."

"It has been a good while, mayor." Lilith replied as she pulled back from the hug, "I've been moving around for a while but it's always nice to see a familiar face."

"I completely agree, although you've managed to catch us at a bit of a bad time." The mayor rubbed a hand through his thinning brown hair as the other villagers muttered their agreement. "You see, a group of brigands have taken over the local tavern and their leader has demanded that we let them turn our village into their new base of operations. We were wondering if you could get a hold of your companion and take care of the problem? We'll gladly pay you for your trouble, but we just don't have the ability to drive them away ourselves."

Lilith's eyes widened in shock, her hands moving to cover her mouth as she replied, "Oh that's terrible. I'll talk with Bob right away and see if we can do something about your problem."

"Well, do you happen to know where Bob is right now?" The mayor asked, a hopeful light in his eyes.

A similar glint appeared in Lilith's eyes as she replied, "Why, he's right behind you. He's been there for a few minutes now."

The mayor and the other villagers turned around, several jumping in shock as they beheld the giant of a man that had seemingly appeared out of nowhere directly behind their group.

"Gods above, boy!" The mayor cried as he tilted his head back to look Bob in the eyes, "Someone needs to put a bell on you or something!"

Bob didn't say anything in reply, simply reaching into his shirt and pulling out a small golden bell that was tied onto a leather string around his neck. He chimed it once with a flick of his wrist before putting it back where it belonged, leaving the group befuddled and slightly anxious as the silent hulk slowly waded through their number to tower over Lilith's smaller frame.

"Bob," Lilith asked in a kind yet firm tone, "would you be a dear and help those poor boys on their way? I believe they have overstayed their welcome in this village."

Bob glanced at the tavern, his gaze searching over every inch of the place before nodding, "I'll be back." With that he walked up to the entrance, pushed open the swinging doors, and slowly closed them behind him with a soft squeak of the hinges.

The villagers waited for a moment, unsure as to what was about to happen, when all Hells broke loose inside the building. Screams of pain and fright sounded off in equal measure, a duo of men getting tossed through the right-side window as another was launched partly through the doorway. The young man started to scramble away from the tavern, only to be stopped by a reaching hand as he was bodily dragged back through the swinging doors, screaming all the way.

This continued for several minutes as Lilith stood beside the gathered villagers, their perplexed and slightly nervous expressions a sharp contrast to Lilith's serene smile.

Then, amidst all the chaos, one of the bandit's screams could be heard sounding off through the doors, "I WANT TO REPENT!"

In a flash, Lilith seemingly disappeared from the villager's side, reappearing inside the building in front of Bob. The scene within the tavern looked like a tornado had gone through it, tables and chairs had been thrown against the walls while several of the bandits had been launched partly through the ceiling or hanging from the chandelier. Bob was standing in the center of the room, no less than five smaller men hanging off of his body in various positions, one of the bandits being held upside down by his ankle at the end of Bob's arm while he used the other to keep another brigand's knife from getting any closer to his chest. The scene seemed to have frozen in time as Lilith slowly looked about, her face completely at ease in contrast to the destruction around her.

"So, which one of you boys would like to repent?" Her voice was soft and yet it carried through the entire room without difficulty as the bandit hanging upside down in Bob's grip slowly waved a hand.

"Um, that would be me, miss." His face was slowly turning red as his blood rushed to his head, his cheeks puffing slightly as he covered his mouth with a hand, "I would like to repent."

Lilith nodded, turning her attention to Bob as the giant glanced at the man he had hanging by his ankle, "Would you mind putting the poor boy down? I would like to speak with him outside while you finish up here."

"Sure thing." Bob simply flexed his arm, and bodily turned the poor man right side up without changing his grip. He lowered the boy to the ground and gently pat him on the backside, pushing him towards Lilith as the small half-demon turned around and walked out the doors.

Lilith led the man across the street, completely ignoring or not paying attention to the ensuing bedlam that had begun again within the tavern behind them. The brigand was muttering to himself under his breath as they walked, his words mostly unintelligible save for the single curse that managed to break through his lips as he made promises about changing his ways.

All of a sudden, he bumped into Lilith, who had come to a complete stop in the middle of the road as she slowly turned around to look him in the eyes, a dangerous light in her violet gaze as she sized up the young man.

"Would you care to repeat that?" Her voice was carefully slow and held a hint of anger as the bandit tried to think of a way to reply without offending the nun before him any further.

As the brigand tried to come up with a way to reply without tripping over himself, Lilith reached into her robes and pulled out a truly massive tome, the thick leather binding creating a solid thunk sound as she slapped the platter-sized, hand-width thick book against her other hand. As the deep reverberations of the impact echoed through the air, the sounds within the tavern came to an abrupt halt, the door swinging open just enough for Bob to stick his head through to look outside.

"Everything alright out here?" He asked, the bandits inside the tavern getting the rare sight of seeing Bob shake like a leaf as the young man standing before Lilith turned around to look at the peeping hulk.

Lilith nodded, not taking her eyes off the man before her as she pulled back her arm and hefted the tome over her head, "Oh everything's fine. I'm just about to teach this young man some manners."

Bob winced as the book came down hard, the spine pounding into the young man's head from behind and above as Lilith jumped into the swing, the force of the blow severe enough to plunge the man into the dirt up to his knees as his hair parted down the middle. In a blink, Bob was at the man's side, muttering assurances that he would be fine as he grabbed the smaller man around his middle with a single hand, prying the boy from the dirt and gently molding his hair back over his head with the other. The poor boy was blubbering as his head lolled around on the end of his neck, all strength having left his body as Bob slowly lowered him back to the ground. Yet it did no good as the man's legs folded under him, his body falling to the ground with a thud as he passed out cold.

Lilith simply slid the massive book back into her robes, her smile returning as she turned to face Bob, "Were you finished with the boys inside or were you just checking on me?"

Bob simply shook his head, turning around before returning to the tavern's interior, the chaos from before resuming as Lilith stood by, patiently waiting for her companion to finish his work. The villagers were staring at the tiny half-demon with wide-eyed wonder, having witnessed her signature move for the first time as they switched their gazes from the hole in the road to the passed-out bandit and then to the tiny Tiefling, their minds struggling to comprehend the sight that they had just bore witness to.

By the time Bob finished with the bandits, not a single man was left standing and the entire interior of the tavern had been returned to normal, save for a few new holes in the ceiling that were absent the day before and the single smashed window. All of the tables had been set back where they belonged, chairs set in neat places on every side while the floor and bar had been polished of any unsanitary fluids that might or might not have been there before the villagers came back in. The bandits were tied up and left to the local guard troops as they marched the men out of the village, leaving the two adventurers with the grateful villagers as they celebrated their freedom.

"I don't know how we can ever thank you for getting rid of those bandits." The mayor said as they sat down at one of the tables in the center of the tavern, the villagers crowding around the duo as cheers were sounded off on every side. "We were sure that those men were going to take over the whole village until you and Bob showed up." He passed Lilith a sack of coins that jingled as she opened the drawstring, the glint of gold catching the candlelight as she nodded her thanks, "How about this. If you ever need to stop for a rest or just happen to be passing through, we'll have a spot saved for you here at the Slurred Spino, so you don't have to search for a room in a random inn."

"I think that would be a wonderful idea." Lilith smiled as she turned to Bob, "What do you think, Bob?"

"Works for me." He shrugged, pulling out his Dwarven tankard as he filled it to the brim with one of the pub's choice drinks.

It was at that point that a shorter woman walked up, her stained apron doing little to hide her heavier build as she slapped the mayor on the back of the head with a cleaning cloth, "And who asked me when you came up with this little idea of yours? It's not your tavern that has to cover for these two if they choose to take you up on the idea."

The mayor rubbed the impact site as he turned around, a slight blush overcoming his features that might or might not have been from the many drinks he had already downed, "My apologies Mary-Anne. I thought that you would be alright with that, given they did put your tavern back together after they got rid of those bandits."

The portly woman huffed, offering a smile to the two adventurers as she placed the cleaning cloth in a side pocket of her apron, "Don't pay this old fool any mind. You're welcome to stay any time you like, just as long as you remember to pay for what you get. While I appreciate your efforts to put the place back the way you found it, I don't settle for freeloaders in my tavern and that includes you."

Lilith laughed, "We would never dream of robbing you of your due. Especially after tasting the wonderful food that you have made for us tonight. We would be happy to pay for your services, as long as you keep a seat open for us in the event we do stop by again." Bob sipped from his tankard, the massive stein settling onto the tabletop without a sound as the giant nodded his agreement.

Mary-Anne's frown morphed into a smile as she turned away, "Good, and don't you forget it. I'll keep a seat saved for you in case you ever need a place to rest. Just make sure you tell me all about your adventures when you have the time. This village doesn't get many visitors, so hearing about the outside world is a rather rare treat."

"Will do, Mary-Anne, and thank you again for the wonderful meal." Lilith called after the woman as she waved goodbye.

And with that, a new relationship was formed, although it would not be the last time Bob and Lilith saved the Slurred Spino from trouble, there would always be a welcome rest waiting for them as they continued on their adventures. They would be joined by many other strange and colorful characters while traveling the world, and it wouldn't be long before their duo would grow into a family of oddities that would gain fame far beyond what either of them could ever imagine.

They left the now peaceful village of Stoneworth the following morning, a loud and friendly send-off trailing on their heels as they walked down the road to the east, their sights set on the nearby settlement of Briarwood. Lilith had heard about some trouble from some of the villagers and was certain that they could be of help. Bob simply followed along and rolled his eyes when he knew Lilith wasn't looking. No matter how many times he saved the day, Sister Lilith managed to find some other lost souls that needed to see the light, and he always ended up setting most of them straight while his half-demon companion stood by and watched. He didn't mind the relationship he had with the Tiefling, although at times the former assassin felt more like an over-glorified body guard than the notorious death-dealer he had once been known as.

The sun slowly drifted overhead as they made their way across the rolling hills, and it was only as the glowing orb reached its zenith that they crested the final rise, the walls and wooden gate of Briarwood resting in a valley between two larger bluffs in the distance.

Lilith looked up at Bob, a smile on her lips as she began skipping down the road, "Well come on, adventure isn't going to find itself."

Bob smiled to himself as he followed the tiny halfling, his larger steps swiftly closing the distance between them as he fell in on her right side. Try as he might, the Tiefling's chipper mood somehow always managed to break through his emotional armor and force him to see the world in a slightly brighter light. It never worked for long, he had seen too much and done too many things to act otherwise, but for just a moment at a time, he could let his past be and look forward to the future.

The noon hour was just being called as the militia members at the gate closed ranks before them, their swords crossed but not threatening the travelers as they came to a halt before the plate armored men.

"Who goes there?" One of the men asked, "What business do you have in Briarwood?"

Lilith smiled, the eyes of the two men being drawn to her small fangs as she replied, "We heard that you were having some trouble as of late. We were wondering if we could offer our services in order to try and solve your problem."

The guards glanced at each other for a moment, as if weighing their options. One nodded as the other ground his teeth, "Fine, we'll let you through, but if you cause any trouble at all, we'll remove you from the town, by force if necessary."

Either they didn't notice or didn't care about the giant of a man standing next to the half-demon, but Bob certainly took notice of them. He made a note to pay those two a visit later if they caused Lilith any trouble but did nothing more as the guards stepped aside to let them pass. They entered the town in the middle of the market, although their attention was swiftly drawn to the local smithy, where shouts and the sounds of metal impacting flesh could be heard. Lilith glanced at Bob, who nodded with an inaudible sigh as they made their way through the throng of people going about their business. They could hear the scuffle from outside the smithy even over the chatter of the marketgoers, although they were rather surprised when they stepped into the doorway of the establishment, both Lilith and Bob's eyes widening as they beheld one of the strangest things either of them had ever seen.

"Well," Lilith muttered to herself as she glanced up at Bob, "I think we found our troublemaker."

Bob simply grunted, is eyes still locked on the man, or what he at least assumed was a man, standing in front of the smithy brandishing a bottle of rather questionable-looking liquid in one hand while waving wildly about with the other.

This was shaping up to be a rather interesting day, that much was certain, although neither of them had any idea what crazy misadventures awaited them as the shriveled man turned to address the newcomers.


	3. Chapter 2 - The Druggy and The Hulk

"Well look who showed up to the party." The wrinkled man said as he lowered his arms, his sunken eyes taking in the duo as he hefted the bottle closer to his lips, "A giant of a man and a little half-demon nun. Oh, I'm shaking in my boots." He turned around to glare at the smithy, "We'll finish our talk later. I have bigger fish to fry."

Bob stepped between the man and Lilith as the hunched figure stepped forward, although that didn't seem to deter the smaller man. If anything, his eyes lit up in excitement as he tossed the glass upward and drank the whole concoction in one long gulp.

What happened next was rather disturbing, even for the seasoned adventurers. The man's body began to contort and shift, growing in size and height as his shriveled skin slowly filled out with muscle and bone. In a matter of seconds, the five-foot something man had grown to rival Bob's massive seven feet plus and gained the weight to go with his newfound stature. His body now took up the majority of the room, his skin bulging with powerful muscles as the hulking being slowed to a stop before Bob, looking him in the eyes as they sized each other up.

Yet just as Bob was beginning to reach for his axe, the giant opened his mouth and offered his hand, "Terribly sorry for all that, but my other half has a nasty habit of starting fights he expects me to finish. He's a bit addicted to that mutagen of his, you see, and I always have to deal with the mess he makes and then smooth over any hard feelings."

Both adventurers were taken aback by the polite and calm voice that had replaced the raving lunatic from a moment before, and Bob shared a confused look with Lilith as the Tiefling stepped forward, "I'm sorry, but did you just say, mutagen?"

The giant nodded, his kind gaze shifting to the small woman as he stepped back a pace, "Indeed. My name, or rather I should say, our name, is Lobidia. My other half is a talented alchemist and can create a variety of concoctions if the need arises." He let out a sigh as he sat down, the smith taking a large step back as the hulking man nearly cracked the wood of the chair he had settled onto, "Sadly, he's rather attached to the mutagen he creates, addicted really, and uses any excuse to drink it so he can get his high. I'm the result of said mutagen until it wears off."

"So, your other half," Lilith mused, "he gets into fights and then uses that as an excuse to bring you out?" Lobidia nodded, "Well that's downright rude and selfish of him. How long does the mutagen usually last?"

Lobidia shrugged, "He never can quite get the mix the same every time, so it could be anywhere from an hour to three days. No idea how long until it wears off." He glanced up at Bob and shared a knowing nod with the other man, "I guess you were instructed to deal with my other half?" Bob nodded again, "I thought as much. Well," he held out his hands with his wrists together, "take me away. Getting tossed in the local jail for a bit might help to keep my other half under control for a while. Gods know nothing else has worked."

Lilith glanced up at Bob, and noticed the contemplative look the man was giving his hulking counterpart. Her fangs flashed as she got an idea, turning towards Lobidia as she placed a hand over his, "How about instead of taking you to jail, we take you with us? We're on an adventure, and we could use a person like you, if you feel up to it. That way, you can avoid getting into trouble, at least compared to the norm, and we get a skilled alchemist that can change into you when we need some extra muscle."

Lobidia looked at the Tiefling with a raised eyebrow, "You would do that for me? Even after my other half threatened you?"

Lilith nodded, smiling wide as she placed both hands on top of his, "Absolutely. We would be honored to have you join us. We just need to talk with your other half about it once we get the chance. If he agrees, then that solves both the village's problem and at least part of your own. Plus, we can help your other half to maybe get past his addiction, or at least try our best."

Bob and Lobidia rolled their eyes at the woman's optimism, although they shared another look as Bob nodded slightly. Lobidia let out a gusty sigh as he stood up, patting Lilith's hands with his own massive paws before turning to the smith, "Sorry for the trouble, I know my other half can be a rather obnoxious fellow, but he's really a nice guy once you get past the irritating addiction."

The smith snorted, "I don't care what you have to say, just get out of my shop and don't come back. I've had enough distractions for one day and I don't need you lot cluttering my workshop."

Taking the rather obvious hint, the three exited the smithy and walked further into the town, taking a moment to reassure the townsfolk that the massive man with them wasn't going to cause trouble. They stopped by the local inn and sat down at a table, taking a moment to order some food before settling in.

"So, what exactly do you like to do, if you're other half is the alchemist?" Lilith asked, her eyes shining with curiosity.

Lobidia smiled, a kind smile that belied his intimidating figure, "Well, to be honest, I enjoy a rather invigorating book every now and again. I usually spend my time going through tomes and scrolls when I'm not fighting through the people that my other half pissed off. I can handle myself just fine in combat, but it gets rather tedious when the only reason I get called out is to punch a poor fool's teeth in. I'm an intellectual, and yet all I seem to attract is fights with the honest people of whatever place I find myself in." He let out a sigh as the serving girl came by and placed their food on the table, her rather hasty retreat not going unnoticed by the group.

"I see what you mean." Lilith added as she blew on her spoonful of soup, "Bob and I get a lot of bad blood from some of the villages we've visited, not because we did anything wrong, but because of what we are. Bob's an assassin by trade, even though he stays with me most of the time, and I'm a half demon who tries her best to make an honest living. It's not easy, thankless work, but seeing the happy faces of the people we help and knowing that we are making a difference, that's enough for me at least."

Lobidia nodded, turning his attention to Bob, "So what about you, do you have any hobbies besides protecting this fair maiden?"

Lilith blushed and averted her gaze as Bob pondered the question. He chewed his chicken leg slowly before taking a silent swig from his tankard, the massive hunk of wood and metal coming to rest on the table without a sound as he replied, "I like to read."

Lobidia's eyes widened in joy as he smiled, "Truly? Then we share a common interest. I would love to pick your brain about some of the material you've read over the years. There's so much I haven't had the chance to see for myself and I'd enjoy hearing about your own experiences sometime."

Bob nodded, taking another bite of his food before noticing something strange happening to Lobidia. The hulking man was shrinking, slowly accelerating in speed as his body began returning to the form they had encountered before. His smile shifted to a frown as he fully returned to his original form, the small man glancing around before growling at the pair.

"So, apparently you didn't toss me in jail, and given the food before me I take it my other form managed to convince you not to toss me out of town?" He huffed as he pulled the empty beaker out of his clothes and inspected it for any remaining mutagen. There was none. "Just as well, I needed to get more ingredients for my potions anyway. Well, see you never. Thank you for the food, I guess."

"Wait!" Lilith cried as Lobidia turned to leave, "We wanted to make you an offer. We would like you to join us on our adventure. We could use a man with your skills, and truth be told, you don't seem to have anywhere to go that wouldn't throw you out the instant you started picking fights."

"Oh? And what's in it for me?" He sat down again and steeped his fingers on the table before him, "What could you offer that I would want?"

"Money." Bob stated matter-of-factly, catching Lobidia off guard as he paused to consider the idea.

"True, true, ingredients are getting more expensive." His eyes swiveled to the duo before smiling darkly, "Very well, I shall join you, but I get to keep any treasure or loot that I find, and I get a cut of the rewards if we earn any on the way."

Lilith smiled, shaking his hand as Bob rolled his eyes, "Welcome aboard. We hope that you will enjoy working with us as we continue on our adventure."

Bob simply took another sip of his drink, knowing full well that this adventure was going to be anything but easy. Instead of one energetic Tiefling to keep track of, now he had an addict with huge destructive potential to keep in line as well. He let out a sigh as his companions chatted about who would get what from their adventures, knowing that things had just gotten a whole lot more interesting.

He could feel a headache starting already.


End file.
